At the Official Beer Glove research and development center, I am often asked: “So, how’s this thing supposed to work?”
To those people, I say: “Come on, they’re gloves. How the !#%& do you think they work? You put your hand into the open end and grab a beer. We may be perfecting the relationships between warm hands and cold beer, but we did not invent the glove concept. Alexander Graham Mitten did. So please, grab me a beer, too. Because if you keep asking these stupid, !#%&-ing questions, I’m going to need to drink a lot faster.”
NO PARTY ANIMALS HAVE BEEN HARMED AS PART OF OUR RIGOROUS TESTING PROCEDURES.
